Home sick.

What a crazy emotional week for me....

Urgh.  I let go of watching my calories and just ate when I was hungry... I am supposed to weigh in tomorrow.

Aaron left me two voicemails and a text message.  After the first one, I felt better knowing I did not call him back.  He was blocked later that same night when he tried to call me again, so he sent me a text.  The second call came when my phone died as I was meeting a friend for dinner.

I was dreading meeting my family for Thanksgiving, since my sister J, was less than excited about me this year due to my divorce and my handling of the care of our parents.

I was looking forward to seeing some of my local friends.  I had lunch with one, Wine with another and dinner with another.  After meeting my friend for dinner I was locked out of the house by my Mom in order to make sure my Dad didn't wander out.  After suggesting that I could seal up the home when I get home, then she tells me that I was acting like a 'teenager', because I was visiting with my local friends each night. I wasn't even out late.  I was home by 10:30 at the latest.

 On Wednesday I was looking forward to meeting some friends at a bar for 80's night.  Shortly after arriving, I felt so alone.  The last place I wanted to be was there.  I wanted to hide.  I didn't want to go back to my parents house.  I wanted to go home.  To hide, to be truly alone.  Or at least alone with my kids.

Now.  I survived the meal with my family and now I get to sit around and do nothing tomorrow.  Maybe I will leave and head back early.  I really don't want to stay...urgh.