Yum... foood....

Today is a good day.
I am happy.  These days happiness is baked goods, coffee with creamer, coke zero and romantic comedies.  This weekends movies have been A little Bit of Heaven, 12 Dates of Christmas, and What's your number.

I can't say life is all roses... I have mini pity parties.  Didn't want to be alone on Christmas so I picked up 12 hours on Christmas. No one to make me feel special on my birthday.  I picked up 12 hours so I wouldn't be alone.  It's strange not anticipating some surprise for my birthday.  Even though my ex really didn't ever surprise me on my birthday the anticipation was nice.  Now, I don't have that.  I don't expect others to remember it.  Life gets crazy this time of year.  Time flies and I know how hard it is for me to afford birthday gifts for others...  I am glad I will have my kids for that week.  I do have that to look forward to.  They are finally getting better about not complaining when they have to stay at my place.  Their Dad just won an ipad, so now I feel like I have that to compete with.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude and hope they will like their Christmas gifts more than the ipad.

Rob texted me asking why I dumped him  for a friend so quick.  He wanted to know if I was seeing someone else.  Nope.  He didn't really seem to want to get to know me.  He talked so much about himself, and I felt like a bother.  I didn't tell him that. I just said if he knew my story maybe he would understand.  Then he texted me asking what my story was.  Really??? Now, via Text?  I listened to his ENTIRE life story over 6 hours and he wants me to text him mine??  Right.   He doesn't believe me that I am not seeing anyone.  Aaron still wants to get back with me, but I do not want to.  He hurt me too much.  School and my kids are my priority.

I am nervously counting the days until my first class.  I signed up to hold my books for school.  I am going to rent them.  It is half the price and I don't have to worry about getting rid of them.  I have to apply for financial aid just after the first of the year for both me and my oldest son, Brock.  I really worry about his ambition.  He just doesn't get motivated without threats.  No job, hardly applies for scholarships, grants, aid of any kind for school.  I feel like it is all on me.  He seems to have taken his Dad's personality and isn't going to worry about it.  I don't know how else to enlighten him of the real life.

I kinda freaked out on Brock last week about how he will not be living with us forever and will need to work and earn his degree himself.  I tried to tell him his college professors are not going to care if he shows up.  They aren't going to pull him through, he has to do it himself.
Sigh...  um,  Merry Christmas!